Shake it Off and Stand Up
by Pente
Summary: Sakura is self-destructing after the collapse of Team 7. Can she pull through with the help of her remaining team? Naruto/Sakura friendship one-shot


**Shake it off and Stand Up**

**Disclaimer:** Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto and VIZ Media and no trademark infringement is intended by this story.

**Warnings:** May trigger eating disorders, swearing, and the general lack of knowledge as I have only seen a handful or so of the episodes up until Sasuke leaves. I just thought Sakura fit.

* * *

I can still remember that night so many months ago, the one where I was left laying on a bench on the rain. When I really want to relive the memories, if I feel my remembrance of him is falling away, I can still recollect the chilling rain and piercing breeze. My pleas were lost to the breeze and my efforts worthless, however, and I wasn't strong enough to make him stay. No matter how heartfelt and desperate my confession of love was, it could never falter his resolve, and I lacked the strength to make him stay. Rolling onto my side I could feel a few small tears worm their warm tracks down my face to soak into my pillow; I would never stop thinking about that night.

"Sakura, honey, it's time to wake up!"

I've been lying awake in bed since the sun first rose over the horizon, spilling milky pink light through my open curtains. That was several hours ago. Even if I was tired, I could already feel the headache throbbing in the back of my head preventing me from lulling myself back into sleep. Not that it would have made a difference, really, no matter how much I sleep I never feel any more refreshed.

Heaving a sigh I pulled myself up and out of bed, discarding the covers in a crumpled pile and rubbing the crusty sleep from my eyes. Stumbling across the hall into the bathroom I examined my appearance critically.

"Erg, I look like a mess!" I grumbled, smoothing my flyaway hair. My shorter style may have been more practical, but I fear I've become increasingly vain in the recent weeks since Sasuke's betrayal, among other things, anyhow. Stepping back once from the mirror I began poking, prodding and pinching at my body: my hips, stomach, and thighs. I was almost clinical in my thoroughness. Too much fat and not enough lean muscle, it was a horrible combination.

Well, standing here staring at myself won't get me any closer to mastering any new techniques. Only after thoroughly brushing my teeth and hair did I pull away from my reflection to get dressed for the day. It was just my usual red dress and black shorts, shapeless enough to cover any unwanted fat bubbling up around my hips, but stylish enough to keep Ino off my back. The old worn wooden stairs squeaked under my weight as I hurried down them, tying my Konoha forehead protector on as a makeshift headband.

"There you are sweetie; I thought you were going to sleep the whole day away!" She was on me as soon as I hit the landing, poking her head out of the kitchen. My mother had a sweet chiming voice I envied. Well that along with her clear skin and slim build.

"Sorry Mom, I stayed up late last night studying a book on new Genjutsu, I thought it might come in handy on future missions." I replied, the lie slipping easily from my tongue – too easily. It was starting to scare me how effortlessly I could fib to my own mother about something so inconsequential. As if it would have been so terrible to say I was simply tired from my training. Guilt was starting to eat away at my insides like acid. I needed a change of subject – fast. "So, uh, what do I have for lunch today?" Okay, so it wasn't the best topic, but at least it would get me on the fast track out the door to training.

She handed a makunouchi bentō with a sunny smile on her face and love in her eyes. "You are so dedicated Sakura, going to practice on your day off. I'm so proud of you." Admittedly the bentō smelled delicious, but the thought of eating so much food at once made my stomach churn. Instead of giving in to the woozy wave washing over me, I bounced past my mother with feigned giddiness and snatched an apple from the bowl on the counter.

"Well, I need to make sure I'm in top form if I want to rock that party at Ino's next week." Another lie accompanied by a playful wink. That was my default at home, be the boy crazy teenage girl my mother expected. Skipping out the door I thanked her for the lunch and informed that I would be back before sunset.

It was an increasingly complicated game as it had come to the point when I had a separate persona to adopt when around others. Not only that, but I had to remember all the excuses I had come up with as to why I could rarely go out to do anything, there are only so many times you can turn down plans because you want to do laps around the village. Just today I had been invited to lunch with Naruto (which I easily turned down, I knew he would expect me to pay) and a shopping trip with Ino and TenTen (I think I claimed to have spent all my money on a rare book).

I crunched on my apple as I watched the scenery pass by on my stroll to the old meeting bridge of Team 7. Sun splashed brightly through the overhanging tree branches overhead bathing me in warmth. Just before the bridge I stopped to hide my lunch in a knot of roots at the base of an ancient tree. Not that I would be particularly sad if it happened to be gone, but eating it was the least I could do after the all the effort that I know Mom must have put into it. Lunch tucked safely away I buried my apple core in a hole a few paces away. It would decompose in time.

Now it was time for the highlight of my day: physical training. It was the quickest way to work off unwanted fat and tone up my body. A healthy body is the basis of a healthy life after all, isn't it? It was my ritual routine, the one I relied on every night after group training, and the foundation of every personal session on my off day. Progressing though a few mandatory leg stretches I paused only for a deep breath air before I was off running like shot.

Muscles pumping, propelling me through to the next step, it felt like flying. Chest heaving, sweat dripping salty onto my lips was exhilarating. I could feel the stress off day to day life giving way to my total immersion into this simple activity. Trees of the forest surrounding the village blurred into green and brown, around and around the city as the bright yellow sun dipped from the high noon position. Legs trembling, I slowed myself to a stop, stumbling a few steps under the weight of my momentum, as the bridge where I had started came into view.

Shade from one of the larger trees beckons to me, and I hate myself for answering the call and collapsing face-first onto cool grass. My legs feel full of sand and shaky, and my stomach feels heavy and sick even if I know I've only eaten an apple. Part of me wants to slip into a state of deep sleep for a nap, and part of me knows I should eat my lunch since it must be well after noon, but there is a larger part still. That part is the one that can't be satisfied until I've gone through the motions of the second half of my physical training. It's a tug-of-war that makes my brain feel like mush when coupled with the heat that I've worked myself into from my run.

Stealing a few last breaths I push myself onto my arms. I may have been aiming to burn off fat, but I knew muscle also went with it, and if I didn't work on building it back up now I would be left even weaker. One push up, two, ten, and thirty – I began to lose track of how many I completed just concentrating of the sensation of tensed muscle and controlled movements. When my arms threatened to give out, I moved to crunches working my core until the muscles quavered with spasms even at rest.

Crawling on hands and knees through prickly grass I moved resolutely towards my lunch. Even if I my arms felt as if they would give under my weight I knew a little food would help, but I would have to be careful not to eat too much or I would just end up expelling it from an upset stomach later. I was right, of course. After a quick meal of the rice in the bentō I was satisfied, enough so to continue.

Striding on refreshed legs I crossed to the bridge, stopping on a worn board that wobbled with a dull thud and I shifted weight onto it. Climbing up onto the rail I found myself mesmerized by the clear water running below me babbling its song of contentment, crystal enough to see the pebbles lining the bottom. Wanting to be closer to such perfection I dropped from the rail, pushing chakra into my feet to keep from plunging below the surface.

Ghosts of cool water breeze soothed the soles of my aching feet, and it was heavenly. Careful though, I had to make sure not to get too caught up in any outside sensations, this was about _concentration_ and if I lost that I really would plunge into the deep water below me. I walked out several meters from bridge, concentrating heavily on every step to make sure I had just the right amount of chakra layering my feet. Too much and I would tire out, but too little and I would sink into the frigid waters.

That was what drove me to continue my strict regimen. I had started nearly five months ago now, but after the first few weeks I found I had mixed results. Sure I was losing weight and my lovely vibrant pink hair and grown out again, but it just wasn't enough. I couldn't see the toning of muscle that I so desperately wanted and my infamous chakra control was lacking as of late. I just couldn't seem to concentrate without putting everything I had into it. It had never before been so exhausting just to stroll down the river. All I could do was push forward believing it was just a phase, and that with enough practice I would come back even stronger.

"Hey! Hey, Sakura, are you sure you don't want to get ramen?"

Spinning around with the jerky grace of a ballerina in a cheap music box I barely caught a glimpse of the most exuberant ninja in Konoha waving erratically from the bridge. Didn't I turn him down? What was he doing here? My head suddenly felt light as fine cotton fluff and the world began to tilt on its axis around me. That was it, my concentration was gone, gone down with me into the shockingly cold water with only a blur of orange and yellow to clutch on to.

Plunging below the surface was terrifying at first as the ice cold water froze my lungs, left me gasping in a mouthful of liquid. It was a strange sort of clarity, this decent into the water watching the shimmer of yellow sun kaleidoscope across the surface. I mean, I knew I was drowning but it was just so silent and calm, so very peaceful as if nothing mattered at all anymore. Well, until a large something – or someone, I suppose – broke the water above me. Seeing the water surface ripple and engulf a large form that descended rather quickly towards me surprised me a great deal.

Everything was muffled and my body went rag doll as I was encircled in warmth. I didn't register we were moving at all until we broke the surface into the sweet fresh air, it was so clean I wanted to fill my lungs with as much as I could between the frantic coughing. My world was bouncing between blurring scenery and fuzzy blackness in a sickening dance. Suddenly I wanted to be back under the water in the blue calm.

Gone was the mellow honey sun, replaced by too bright radiance that burned my eyes. My throat burned with stomach acid as I rolled to my side and vomited that perfect water. Naruto was breathing hard near my ear, hands grasping my shoulders too tightly and shaking. There was so much noise that I couldn't quite register with my mind reeling like this.

"What the hell were you doing Sakura!?" He was yelling now, angry, that much I could tell. I turned, clutched at his jacket attempting to ground myself to something solid. I was going to tell him, make him understand why he had to leave me be to train. I was desperate, and confused, and _so_ tired. He _needed_ to understand, he just had to. If not him, who would?

"Stop, wait – Naruto, stop!" I was wracked with harsh coughs, blinking against the water dripping from my bangs. "Just stop, and listen to me for a second!" I shoved him back by his shoulders, pushed with more force then I thought I had leaving him on his back staring at the blue sky.

Despite my pleas, no words were exchanged for a long time. We simply sat, gasping for breath and listening to the rustle of leaves. I scrubbed the back of my hand across my mouth and licked my lips, searching for the right lie to make this all fade away. It wasn't coming. Oh no, his mouth was opening, his eyes searching mine. He was going to beat me to it.

"Sakura, _why_ would you do this to yourself? Have you even looked at yourself since Sasuke left?" His voice was hushed with emotion, but I still cringed with pain at the sound of his name. Anger took over again and he yanked me over to stare down at our reflections in the river. "Your skin is so pale, and you have bags under your eyes so often it's like you never sleep."

We both leaned back and let the words sink in. I broke first this time, my forehead sagging onto his shoulder. I could feel his hand tangle in my hair. "Please Sakura, let me help you. Just look at yourself, you always look so exhausted, I've never seen you take a break. You're so skinny now," Raw emotion choked off the rest of whatever it was he was trying to tell me.

I hadn't thought of it that way, it was never really what I was looking for. I did look quite awful on such close-up examination, but from a distance I was so much better. Stronger, so much closer to being strong enough to pull our team back together. Rage swelled deep in my chest. How dare he? I was doing my best to glue our team back together and all he was worried about was my appearance? Pink strands of hair were left on his hand, torn out from my quick retreat.

"Is that what you're worried about – my _weight_?" Indignation was heavy in my voice. I was growing weary of this game, I was already desperate and confused and _so_ tired. He _had_ to understand, if not him, who would? "This is perfectly healthy, Naruto. You have no idea how long I've been staring at your back – yours and Sasuke's too – watching you get better and stronger while I remain the weak link. I'm fixing that now, I'm making myself strong. If I don't, Sasuke will _never_ come back. Don't you understand, he left because our team wasn't strong enough, and that was _my_ fault. If I don't fix this soon Sasuke will _never_ come back, and our team will _never_ be complete."

Up to this point I had never seen Naruto's eyes look as serious as when I stared deep into them now, imploring him to understand my argument. "Sakura, if you want to get stronger all you need to do is ask, we are a team after all. We could have trained together, I could have _helped_ you because _this_ isn't healthy and you're wasting away. Please, just stop this and let me help you get better."

All I could do was nod. I wasn't getting anywhere on my own, I hadn't been on a mission in months and there was no way training with Naruto could leave me feeling any worse then I do now. With nothing more to say we lay tucked away in each others embrace drying in the late afternoon sun. As peaceful a picture as this made, we were incomplete without our third member. If I could trust Naruto though, I knew we could pull through, we were still just children and we needed our team to be truly complete.

"We can do this together, Sakura, we'll get him back. We have to, we're a _team_." All I had to do was trust him, and believe this could all be fixed.

* * *

Well, this story is very personal to me, and I sincerely apologize for any upsets it may have caused. Hopefully it was enjoyable, and I did not make any rookie (no pun intended) mistakes. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me. Your time is much appreciated, and constructive criticism encouraged, personally I thought it didn't have enough dialogue and was perhaps a bit tedious because of that. However, I tried a new writing style that I quite enjoyed in some areas. By the way, it was about excessive exercising (a less well-known eating disorder).

.:Sayuru:.


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